Rethinking Our Roles

Adding "off-duty" to our vocabulary.

Time is our most valuable commodity and it may feel in short supply today. We live in a world where our list of things to do, places to be, social media to engage in, and our multiple roles are ever demanding. Caring for ourselves is likely far down the list. The thoughts of self-care can be overwhelming or perhaps feel undeserving.

We do not have time for self-care when the dog still needs to be walked and the bills need to be scheduled to be paid?! I am not talking about radical, life upending changes to our life. That is quite unrealistic because the dog is still waiting patiently by the door as we hit submit for payment on the electric bill.

The idea of going off-duty as a parent, partner, and even as an employee or entrepreneur can feel as though it goes against everything we are supposed to be doing. That is the point, after all. To slow down and pause our engagement in other areas of our life so that we can re-engage with ourselves.

The components of "off-duty."

Holding boundaries with ourselves.

Boundaries are not solely meant to be held with others but also with ourselves. The reasoning behind it is similar, to protect ourselves. Protection mentally, physically, spiritually, and to protect our energy. Boundaries, in this sense, create a space for us to re-engage with ourselves and renew our mental vitality.

Engaging in mirco-self-care.

Self-care or PTO (paid time off) can feel as though it should be a large, elaborate event that we commemorate through vacation photos or by having a reason, like an expensive spa day. These are along the lines of macro-self-care and they can be wonderful, but they are not practical in our daily lives.

Taking 30-minutes or an hour to care for ourselves is a practice best experienced daily or bi-daily. Engaging in activities that bring contentment, appreciation, or joy are the rejuvenating experiences that renew our energy and protect us from burnout and stress.

Enlist help.

We are enlisting help from our partner or another support source. For some, this may feel like the most challenging part of going off-duty, enlisting help so we can fully pause in our role and go off-duty. While many roles can make this difficult, parenting is often the first to come to mind when thinking of a 24/7 gig.

This can begin as a conversation between us and the one we ask for help, such as a partner, by beginning with, "Can we have a quick chat? I noticed that I have been feeling pretty drained lately. Have you been feeling that way also?" From there, the discussion can open towards finding times that you both can be off-duty (on pause in the case of parenting) for a bit to re-coop your energy.

How your conversation starts as you seek to enlist help will likely look different from the above, as will your version of "off-duty," but the principle is the same:

How we care for ourselves today impacts how we show up tomorrow.