**** Cursing in Therapy ****

Within the first minutes of my beginning session with clients, I disclose that I say four-letter words mostly because I let a four-letter bomb drop*.

"Oh yes, by the way, I curse. Please let me know if you prefer I don't."

Often I am met with a laugh, but most of the time, I am met with a sigh of relief. An exhale of relaxation that it is okay in this room to say the colorful words we have been taught are taboo in many other situations and contexts. Four-letter and five-letter words evoke a sense of connection and safety in the therapeutic space for clients to be themselves. The cursing lexicon of an individual or couple can allow them to express emotions in a language that we have come to understand.

The fact is, there are many of us out in the world who understand the emotion under an "eff" you better than someone expressing hurt or disappointment. Expressing feelings can feel like being a stranger in a strange land when we do not know the language to communicate what we are feeling to others—using cursing to emphasize our emotions and stories. Clients can express the intensity of their experience and I can discern the impact of the experience on them.

*I want to note that my choice to engage in cursing while in session is made with my best clinical judgment. Meaning it depends on the client and context and I typically follow the client's linguistic lead.